Match Events

Helping a child identify, understand, and learn how to manage their emotions better can be an essential part of your relationship, especially if they are getting in trouble for emotional outbursts at home or school.

Experiencing anger is a normal part of everyday life. It plays a positive role in identifying where there may be a problem or a need that is not being met, yet children must learn how to deal with anger appropriately. Many children suffer daily emotional stress and frustrations, especially if they experience family issues, which can boil over at school and cause them to get in trouble and struggle socially and academically. Failing to deal effectively with strong emotions can lead to problems not just now but also later in life, including a host of health problems.

You can help your Little or a child in your life learn to manage their emotions constructively by providing a safe space to discuss their feelings and by acting as a positive role model. You may be the one person they can talk to without feeling judged, and it is essential to try to see things from their perspective and validate their experience, regardless of how you may initially perceive it. As you likely know, it can be tough to reason when in the grip of strong emotions, so first, give the child a chance to express what they feel while practicing reflective listening. Reflective listening is a communication strategy involving two key steps: seeking to understand an idea, then stating the concept back to the other person to confirm you understood correctly.

Once they feel understood and more relaxed, you can help them name the emotion, identify the cause of the feeling, explore what the emotion felt like physically, and then problem-solve the best ways to respond to that emotion. This will help them understand why they experience these emotions in the first place, recognize what the emotions feel like so they can identify them before boiling over, and have several appropriate responses prepared to handle emotional situations correctly and avoid getting in trouble.

Just by being an outlet for them to talk about their emotions, you are probably already well on your way to influencing your Little for the better. You can also use these resources and specific tips and tools to work with your Little on these issues.

Find more resources for Bigs on our I’m A Big page. Your Match Support Specialist provides the password. 

 

 

Do you need some ideas for things to talk to your Little about? Check out our March Conversation Starters to help you and your Little learn about new topics and discover new hobbies and interests. 

If you haven’t done so lately, have a conversation with your Little about how you feel you did on your goals throughout the first semester and so far in the second semester.

March is Women’s History Month: Do some research on Rosie the Riveter. Check out this article from the National Women’s History Alliance about when Women’s History month started. Or read the stories of 11 amazing women. Check out our Women’s History Month blog post for more ideas. 

March is Irish American Month: Do some research on important Irish Americans. Research Ireland and more about Irish Culture.

March is Music in our Schools Month: Does your Little take music in school? What do they learn in music? Do they like it? Does your Little play an instrument? Did you play an instrument in school? Do you still? What are some benefits to learning music?

March is National Nutrition Month: Discuss the importance of nutrition. Share some good eating habits. Come up with a challenge for March with your Little. Can they eat a serving of vegetables every day for lunch? Drink 5 cups of water every day? Come up with some healthy recipes together. Check out our National Nutrition Month blog post for more ideas. 

March 7th is National Cereal Day: Do you like cereal? What is your favorite? What kind of cereal would you invent? Come up with a Cereal Box design.

March 10th is Middle Name Pride Day: Do you have a middle name? Share your middle name with your Little. Do you like your middle name? If you could change it to something else, what would you change it to? Create an acrostic by writing your Little’s middle name vertically on a piece of paper and develop adjectives that describe your Little for each letter. Ex. Mary=Marvelous, Adventurous, Radiant, Young. Decorate your acrostics together. 

March 14th is Learn About Butterflies Day: Look up some interesting facts about butterflies. What is their life span? How many kinds are there? What’s the difference between a moth and a butterfly? Draw, color, or sketch butterflies together.

March 16th is Giant Panda Bear Day: Look up some interesting facts about Pandas. What do they eat? How many are in captivity? Are they still on the Endangered Species List? What Does that mean?

March 17th is St. Patrick’s Day: Does your Little celebrate? If so, how? Check out this video from theESOLodyssey about St. Patrick’s Day. 

March 19th is Absolutely Incredible Kid Day!: Tell your Little what makes them absolutely incredible in your eyes. Ask them if they know any absolutely incredible kids. Check out this video from People are Awesome of kids doing incredible things. Be sure to remind your Littles not to try any crazy stunts at home. 😉

March 20th is International Day of Happiness: Write a list of 10-20 things that make you happy and see how many things you and your Little have in common. 

March 25th is Waffle Day: Do you like waffles or waffle cones? What are your favorite toppings? What would be some crazy things to try on a waffle or in a waffle cone?

March 26th is Make Up Your Own Holiday Day: What is something you think is worth celebrating? What would be the best way to celebrate it? What part of the year would you celebrate?

March is Women’s History Month, a time to uplift women’s voices and honor the contributions of women throughout history. Girls and young women face a unique set of challenges but continue to persist and break-down barriers. Take time this month to learn from women throughout history who have paved the way for the next generation of young women to reach their full potential. 

Firsts are powerful and important, but we must not forget those who helped them arrive there. This Women’s History Month, Big Brothers Big Sisters of Tampa Bay will highlight women who were “firsts” and the greats who stood behind them along the way.

Viola Davis, Actor & Producer

Viola Davis was the first African American to achieve “triple crown” status by being awarded a Primetime Emmy, an Academy Award, and two Tony Awards. 

She credits Cicely Tyson, a friend, and fellow actress, as a key mentor who inspired her. “You made me feel loved and seen and valued in a world where there is still a cloak of invisibility for us dark chocolate girls. You gave me permission to dream…because it was only in my dreams that I could see the possibilities in myself.” 

Cicely was known for her on-screen performances, which garnered her three Primetime Emmy Awards, four Black Reel Awards, an honorary Academy Award, one Screen Actors Guild Award, a Tony Award, and Peabody Award. In addition to these accolades, President Barack Obama awarded her the Medal of Freedom in 2016. She stated this was the most important award she received in her lifetime. 

Lucy Stone, Women’s Sufferage Movement

Susan B. Anthony’s name is typically the first to come to mind when thinking about women’s right to vote in the United States. She appears on our currency and in most history books. She is arguably the most well-known contributor to the Women’s Suffrage movement. 

But who inspired Anthony to become involved with Women’s Suffrage? A woman named Lucy Stone is said to have inspired Anthony to take up the cause in the first place after Anthony attended a convention that Stone had spoken at. 

Lucy Stone became the first woman from Massachusetts to obtain a degree after completing her studies at Oberlin College. An accomplished orator with sharp rhetoric, she was asked to compose the class commencement speech. She declined the request because she would not be allowed to read it due to being a woman. At Oberlin’s 50th Anniversary celebration, Stone returned and spoke on stage. 

Stone spent much of her life traveling and giving lectures regarding Women’s Suffrage and abolishing slavery. Stone is also known as the first American woman to keep her original name after marrying. “I believe that the influence of woman will save the country before any other power.”

Ibtihaj Muhammad, Olympic Bronze Medalist

The first woman to wear a hijab while competing in the Olympics on behalf of the United States was Ibtihaj Muhammad. She earned a bronze medal for her sabre fencing at the Rio Olympics and is ranked 7th globally. 

Earlier in life, she joined the Peter Westbrook Foundation, a fencing program that helps develop life skills in underserved young people. This foundation was established by Asian American Peter Westbrook, whose mother insisted he begin fencing to keep him out of trouble and expose him to a different life. 

Muhammad serves as a sports ambassador on the U.S. Department of State’s Empowering Women and Girls Through Sport Initiative. She travels to various countries to speak about the importance of sports and education. She has written two books and established Louella, a clothing line that focuses on bringing modest, fashionable clothing to America. 

Claudette Colvin, Civil Rights Movement

Claudette Colvin was pregnant and sitting in the back of the bus, as African Americans were required to do so in 1955. When the bus filled up, she was asked to stand to give her seat up to a white person. She loudly refused and exclaimed that it was her “constitutional right” to occupy the seat. “History kept me stuck to my seat. I felt the hand of Harriet Tubman pushing down on one shoulder and Sojourner Truth pushing down on the other.” 

Colvin was handcuffed, arrested, and pulled out of the bus. Though this was not a planned action by Colvin, she was part of the Youth NAACP and had dreams of becoming the United States president one day. The NAACP decided it would premiere Rosa Parks as the face of its bus de-segregation campaign 5 months after the incident with Colvin. 

Colvin struggled being labeled a troublemaker in her community and moved from Montgomery to New York. She worked as a nurse’s aid in Manhattan for 34 years and raised her children, rarely telling her story to others. She was later honored for her lifetime commitment to public service with a Congressional Certificate and an American flag. 

Find out how you can become a mentor and influence the next generation of inspiring women by becoming a Big. 

Match Activities

Watch:

• Tell Them We Are Rising: The Story of Black Colleges and Universities (PBS)
• Hidden Figures: Discussing the Women of NASA with Margot Lee Shetterly (Library of Congress)

Read:

• Shall Not Be Denied: Women Fight for the Right to Vote (Library of Congress)
• Women’s History Month: 31 Days of Amazing Women (USA TODAY)

Podcasts:

• “Unlocking Us with Brené Brown” Glennon Doyle and Brené on Untamed (Podcast)
• Best Women Empowerment Podcasts (Medium.com) 

Every February, people across the nation come together for events and activities to celebrate Black History Month. Now is an excellent opportunity to learn more about the history, contributions, and global impact of the African Diaspora with your Little. We hope these activity suggestions will inspire you and your Little to honor Black History Month and learn more together!

MOVIES TO WATCH:

• Hidden Figures 
• Black Panther
• A Ballerina’s Tale
• The Princess and the Frog

EASY RECIPES TO MAKE TOGETHER:

• 21 Black History Month Recipes 

BOOKS TO READ:

• Ages 5-12

Have You Thanked an Inventor Today? by Patrice McLaurin | Journey into the often forgotten contributions of African-American inventors, that contributed to the American landscape. It chronicles the school day of a little boy, highlighting different inventions that he uses throughout the day, all of which were invented by African-Americans. 

• Ages 8-12

Black Heroes: a Black History Book for Kids: 51 Inspiring People from Ancient Africa to Modern-Day U. S. A. by Arlisha Norwood | You’re invited to meet ancient Egyptian rulers, brilliant scientists, legendary musicians, and civil rights activists–all in the same book! Black Heroes introduces you to 51 black leaders and role models from both history and modern times. 

• For your teenaged Littles, click here to see a list of 74 Teen and Young Adult novels written by Black authors!

 

According to the National Child Traumatic Stress Initiative, about two-thirds of children experience at least one traumatic event by the age of sixteen. Trauma is one or more events or situations that feel physically or emotionally harmful or threatening. Common causes of trauma include child abuse (physical, emotional, sexual), grief, being a witness or victim of violence, neglect, war/terrorism, medical trauma, mental illness, bullying in school, or separation from loved ones. Trauma-Informed Mentoring understands and considers the nature of trauma and promotes environments of healing and recovery rather than practices that may inadvertently re-traumatize.

Trauma can cause youth to have intense physical and psychological stress responses. The impact of trauma can have significant effects on the developing brain, such as, the Prefrontal Cortex (PFC) which helps us to process thoughts; the Anterior Cingulate Cortex (ACC) which helps us to regulate our emotions; and the Amygdala which helps us to regulate fear. Youth suffering from trauma effects can have long-term impacts:

• Affects the perception of reality
• Wires brain to expect danger
• Takes away a sense of safety
• Triggers flight, fright, or freeze response
• Creates a sense of helplessness
• Creates relationship problems
• Results in serious behavior problems

There is evidence that suggests strong mentoring relationships can help youth to recover and thrive after experiencing trauma. Mentors can help youth build resilience through the following strategies:

Comfort – Be patient and calm. When children are not under stress, try practicing activities that can help them cope when they do feel stress.

Listen – Be open to their ideas and opinions. Ask open-ended questions that require more than a yes or no answer. Ask clarifying questions if you’re unsure of what they meant.

Inspire – Ask them who their role models are and what they like about them. Help them focus on what qualities they admire in other people.

Collaborate – Engage them with a step-by-step problem-solving process until you reach a solution.

Celebrate – Encourage trial and error problem-solving skills to teach them how to persevere. Celebrate the process and the effort even when things don’t go as planned.

 

Below are some additional recourses for mentors to learn more about trauma-informed mentoring:

Mnetorvt.org | Bigmentoring.org | SAMHSA.gov | Mentoring.org

 

2020 has been a challenging year for many due primarily to the COVID-19 pandemic. We have all been affected by it in one way or another. We can go on for days about the negative impact the pandemic has had on individuals and our community, which is true, but it’s also important to have gratitude for the positive outcomes that have resulted. Sometimes, looking for the silver lining in negative circumstances can help to reduce anxiety and stress.

In the month of November, gratitude is a common theme that comes up, and it allows us to reflect and to give thanks for the positives in our lives. Examples of positive aspects of the COVID-19 pandemic may include:

• Increased sense of community—people are coming together in communities.
• Positive environmental effects — pollution has decreased.
• Positive relational affects — many people feel more connected or are having deeper relationships with family, friends, & coworkers.
• Families have been able to spend more quality time together.
• New technological innovations have occurred.
• Street crimes have decreased.

This is a great opportunity to open up a conversation and model looking at a positive silver lining with your Little.  Below are some fun activity ideas that you and your Little can do together which may help your Little learn about the importance of thankfulness, mindfulness, and how to better cope with stressors in their lives.

1. Identify The Positives – Help your Little identify what they have to be grateful for in life.
2. Create A Gratitude Journal – Gratitude journals are great ways to encourage children and teens to identify and express appreciation in a creative way.
3. Play A Game of Gratitude Charades – It can be played just like regular charades, but with a twist. Instead of having everyone write down answers to a category, have them think of different ideas related to gratitude.
4. Perform Random Acts of Kindness – No matter what our situation in life, we can find happiness through practicing kindness to others. Check out this list of 50 simple acts of kindness ideas!
5. Create A Gratitude Jar – Creating a gratitude jar is a simple, yet effective activity on gratitude. It encourages youth of all ages to take the time to really think about what they are grateful for.

 

Article by Shanice Gooden, Program Quality/Data Integrity Specialist at Big Brothers Big Sisters of Tampa Bay

 

The second week of November represents Transgender Awareness Week. During this week transgender people and their allies take action to bring attention to the community by educating the public about who transgender people are, sharing stories and experiences, and advancing advocacy around the issues of prejudice, discrimination, and violence that affect the transgender community.

To be an ally to transgender youth, we need to be informed and learn more about transgender issues. Recognize that every person is different and has a unique experience, identity, and needs.

Gender Identity is a person’s internal, deeply held sense of their gender. For transgender people, their own internal gender identity does not match the sex they were assigned at birth. Most people have a gender identity of man or woman (or boy or girl). For some people, their gender identity does not fit neatly into one of those two choices.

To become better informed on Transgender matters  here are some resources to get started:

Glaad.org/| Transequality.org | Genderspectrum.org | GLSEN.org | www.pflag.org. 

 

Article by Shanice Gooden, Program Quality/Data Integrity Specialist at Big Brothers Big Sisters of Tampa Bay

 

 

November is Child Safety and Protection Month and is an important time to raise awareness around potential dangers that children face day-to-day. Take time this month to learn smart tips to keep kids safe.

Household Safety

Accidental poisonings through the ingestion of medications and chemicals is a common hazard. Keep cleaning materials and medications out of reach. These recommendations from the American Association of Poison Control Centers will help make your home a safe environment.

• Store cleaning supplies, medicines, garden chemicals, and toxic art supplies stored on a high shelf or locked away, and put them away immediately after use.
• Purchase medications with childproof lids. It’s best to keep these on a high shelf or locked in a cabinet rather than on a bedside table.
• Don’t use food containers to store nonfood substances.
• Keep the phone number for Poison Control on your phone (1-800-222-1222).

Secure your bathroom. Keep the water heater temperature low to avoid any risk of burns. Ensure all razors and medications are secured. Installing a slip mat in the bathtub helps prevent dangerous slip-and-falls.

Cover electrical outlets with childproof covers and keep electrical cords out of reach. Teach children to avoid touching these items.

Check your smoke and carbon monoxide detectors to ensure they are functioning. Install detectors throughout your house and check the batteries regularly.

Swim Safety

Pools and beaches are popular destinations for Floridians. Keeping child safety in mind when you are near the water is essential.

• Be aware of all bodies of water, big or small. Swimming pools, bathtubs, ponds, ditches, fountains, watering cans, kiddie pools, and even large water buckets can be dangerous for small children when left unattended.
• Have clear safety rules around the water, such as no running, no pushing, and no holding others underwater.
• Children should always be supervised by an adult when they are swimming. Infants and toddlers should be held in they are in and around water.
• Children should always wear lifejackets when they are riding in a boat. A lifejacket fits properly if you can’t lift it off over your child’s head after they have been fastened into it.
• Eliminate distractions while children are in the water. Talking on the phone, working on the computer, and other tasks should wait until children are out of the water.

Bike Safety

Bike riding is an excellent activity to do with kids. It’s a fun way to get active while exploring the community. Keep these tips in mind to reduce the risk of injury while biking.

• Wear a properly-fitted helmet.
• Ride on the sidewalk when you can. If not, ride in the same direction as traffic as far on the right-hand side as possible.
• Use hand signals and follow the rules of the road.
• Wear bright colors and use a bike light, especially when riding at night or early in the morning. Reflectors on your clothes and bike will help you been seen.
• Stick together until you are comfortable that your kids are ready to ride on their own

Internet Safety

Teaching children about online risks and how to avoid or report unsafe behavior is important in keeping kids safe online.

• Talk to kids about online dangers, such as inappropriate websites, malware, online frauds or scams, and sexual predators. Keep an open dialogue with your kids about their safety and what they are doing online.
• Set clear rules about internet use. Some examples are:
  • Never give out personal information.
  • Do not post your photo on public sites.
  • Do not open emails from someone you don’t know.
  • Report inappropriate messages to a trusted adult
  • Don’t respond to hurtful, insulting, or bullying messages.
  • Never agree to get together with someone you’ve only met online.
  • Set time limits for being online
• Keep your children’s computers in a common area of the home to monitor their activity.
• Check your child’s browser history.
• Activate privacy features through your browser or devices your child is using
• Know your children’s passwords
• Watch for changes in their behavior that may indicate cyberbullying or contact with an online sexual predator.

Child Safety Resources

Safe Kids Worldwide

CDC: Information on Safety in the Home & Community

Kids in the Know

Child Safety Tips & Resources

National Child Safety and Prevention Month Tips

Internet Safety for Kids